The driving power of loneliness is not to be underestimated. We usually blame greed and the strife for control for many of the problems of our society, but think how many of the day-to-day wrecking experiences are caused by simple loneliness. You are stranded every morning in the commute with a sea of strangers, faces more hostile than friendly, or even worse- indifferent. Isolation. They do not care and you do not share.
Deprived of proper human contact, an individual grows psychotic.
Maybe the same happened to me, I remember years spent mostly with my dog and no talking was necessary, but I did talk to it from time to time and it kindly pretended to understand me. At least the animal tried, with all of its heart, it responded the best it could.
You go home to a family of snowmen with hostile little eyes of coal and you wonder what love is. When was the last time your heart fluttered with the unmistakeable sensation? It's erratic patterns of attack make you doubtful of the essence of its nature, of its very meaning. Can something so capricious be truly great? So you have to choose between it not being love and love not being great, so your mind cannot stay on the subject for too long. I was once advised to try to not think so hard about what bothers me and it will go away. It never ever worked for me.
"Also: I cannot distinguish between the love I have for people and the love I have for dogs."
and maybe this is a compliment.
Loneliness is the main reason for divorce, because you push yourself to be with somebody, and when things get shaky, you marry to fortify the lies, or because this was the natural course of events. Elder people and friends love to remind you of this. Suddenly you find yourself bound to one of the distant strange faces you meet in the morning on the commute, only this face is supposed to be the one you share the entirety of your life and self. Horror. Shivers from the head to the toes and hate is not the word to describe it, but maybe panic and disgust can fit in somewhere in the table of contents.
Divorce is only natural. You seek the next wave of closeness with another person, a wave that is passing.
You will stop when you are too jaded and discouraged, or maybe never. Some exhibit the amazing power to fall in love over and over again as age progresses, and where do they find the power for it? The desperation of hope and loneliness. Screaming.
What if I told you we are diametrical opposites and I still appreciate the fact you walk the Earth? I even want to keep it that way, I need you here. The fabled notion we are all part of the same consciousness, I do not care if it's true, I'll accept we should not be divided. Differences will keep pulling us apart, but I refuse to see you as a stranger.
If I hit you, would you feel pain?
If I gave you a gift, would you smile?
My electrons will never allow me to really fully touch you, but I feel you. You are human. You are visceral. You are a known enemy and a wanted friend.
Attraction and repulsion are natural. But let us not be divided.
